Driving Theory

THE AUTO SURFEIT FUNCTION

JWD — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 18:59:54 +0000

The “Auto Surfeit Function”posits that ass-like driving behavior shows a positive correlation to “auto density” or the availability of cars to the motoring public and can be described by the following:

Where:

P_DLA = Ass-Like Driving Proclivity
x= Car density per licensed driver
a = DLA International driving factor (too complex to be described in available space)

While it is not fully understood, DLA researchers believe that:

1) Greater "auto denisty" gives a population a greater opportunity to acquire ass-like driving skills;

2) Greater "auto denisity" is, in general, a characteristic of developed countries meaning that the population has had a longer time to develop ass-like driving skills.

To learn more about this principle and lits application, click here.

The Floorit Function

JWD — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:52:48 +0000

The Floorit Function, or Drivinglike Assymptote, posits that following distance (d) becomes asymptotic to zero as time following a change from green to yellow (t) increases.

This behavior permits the maximum number of cars to cross an intersection (or make a left turn on a left turn lead signal) without creating a break into which the cross- or oncoming traffic can enter. (This is not unlike the behavior in which drivers can exceed the posted speed limits with impunity when the number of other cars also speeding is greater than three.)

To learn more about this principle and lits application, click here.

THE STEPPONIT—GHETTOVMYASS FORMULA

JWD — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 21:04:39 +0000

Acceptable “following distance” can be described by the Stepponit—Ghetovmyass formula,

which calculates distance (FD) as the inverse of the product of the Aggravation Coefficient (A_c) and Passenger Pressure (P_p), the pressure applied to the floor boards by the passenger…also known as the Sympathetic, or Frantic, Braking Response . The Aggravation Coefficient is an ingenious and complex metric which includes such variables as the number of miles-per-hour below what the following car believes is the suitable speed and the amount of time, in seconds, the following driver believes he is losing by being forced to drive at that speed. The Aggravation Coefficient can be found in tables published by the RMV, although recent research has shown that most individuals have an innate capacity to calculate their specific coefficient on the fly. The explicit, mathematical result of this formula is that, as Aggravation Coefficient (A_c) and Passenger Pressure (P_p) increase, following distance (FD) decreases.

To learn more about this principle and lits application, click here.

THE 3 INTO 2 POSTULATE

JWD — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 15:52:52 +0000

This postulate of Massachusetts driving theory states that the number of lanes preceding any given intersection is less than or more than—but never equal to—the number immediately following.

To learn more about this principle and its application, clck here.

The Directional Dysfunction Postulate

JWD — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 00:36:55 +0000

This Postulate tells us that the statistical likelihood (X) of successfully finding a particular location in an expedient manner is a function of the number of previous attempts (Y) only where Y is greater than or equal to 8.

To learn more about this principle and its application, click here.

The Exculpation Axiom

JWD — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 17:27:51 +0000

The Exculpation Axiom holds that the likelihood of driver compliance approaches zero when the number of reasons for non-compliance is greater- than or equal-to one.

To learn more about this principle and its application, click here.