The DLA research staff, exhausted from translating and interpreting Chinese, Polish, and Japanese data, has begged to return its focus to driving research topics closer to home, namely Boston. I am happy to oblige since, as the staff always reminds me, there is no lack of baffling behavior that screams for analysis right here in our own back yard. Furthermore, it is winter and winter is generally accompanied by inclement weather, blessing the eager DLA staff with wonderful, seasonal examples of driving like ass.

But, before closing out our international entries, I want to share some additional data provided by Peter Hessler whose article in The New Yorker, spurred the DLA staff to launch the search for international and cultural factors in ass-like driving.

Thanks for the note, and for the link to your site, which I found hilarious. When I was very small my family lived in Beverly, MA, and the drivers in Boston left a deep impression on my father. He spoke of them often while I was growing up in Missouri.
In the Peace Corps I lived in Fuling, a small town on the Yangtze River. In that town virtually every cabbie had wired his horn so that it connected to a contact point located on the gearshift. A horn on the steering wheel was not responsive enough for their purposes. A friend of mine visited from New York and was overwhelmed by the way they honked. When he finally left, we took a cab down to the docks, and he counted how many times the driver honked during the 15-minute ride. It came to 566, no exaggeration. (I describe this in my first book, River Town on page 66.)
All the best –

Peter

Although virtue is rumored to be its own reward, I would encourage all readers to purchase this book, if only on the grounds that Mr. Hessler was kind enough to respond and because the DLA research staff seldom receives appreciative feedback from readers other than our mothers.

Lots of cars, lots of drivers, not much driving. Is it possible to drive like ass in a country in a country built around civility and solicitude?

Flashing the peace: happy Japanese "paper drivers" celebrate their driving school graduation, never to drive again.

This is the third in a series of studies, inspired by Peter Hessler’s November 26 article in The New Yorker (“Wheels of Fortune”), in which the DLA research staff examines driving instruction and licensing procedures in other countries as a hopeful window into Boston driving behavior. The first entry, “Learning to Drive #1: China vs. Massachusetts” concluded that drivers in China were being taught to drive like ass, unlike Boston where current research points to an innate behavioral component of ass-like driving. In the second installment, “Learning to Drive #2: Poland vs. Massachusetts”, based upon that country’s prehistoric driving and roadway conditions, we established that you can truly drive like ass only if you have no reason, and Poland has plenty of reasons to drive like ass.

Undeterred, the DLA research team pressed on to Japan.

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Driving is a laugh a minute in Poland.  So much so that they even had a reality show in which an actress scares the pants off an instructor. Bedlam ensues. Much hilarity. Of course, having your pants scared off doesn't seem to be a reason for the instructor to put on his seat belt.

The DLA Research team takes a look at driving in Poland where it is discovers that “ass-like” driving is not always the same as “driving like ass!”

A Czarny Punkt, or Black Spot, marks a particularly deadly traffic location in Poland and includes the number of fatalties (zabitych) and injuries (rannych)

Last week, inspired by Peter Hessler’s intriguing article in the November 26 The New Yorker (“Wheels of Fortune”) the DLA research staff was hopeful that examination of driving instruction and licensing procedures in other countries might provide a window into Boston driving behavior. The first entry, “Learning to Drive #1: China vs. Massachusetts” relied on Hessler’s first-hand experiences to conclude that, despite the naïve charm and frighteningly arbitrary nature of Chinese driving and driving instruction, new drivers in China were being taught to drive like ass, unlike Boston where current research points to an innate behavioral component of ass-like driving.

Nonplussed, DLA researchers pressed on. I have spent a great deal of time in Poland both driving and being driven and it is my studied impression that Poland is a nation of ass-like drivers.

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In China, they have to learn to drive like ass. In Boston, driving like ass requires almost no training at all.

Photo courtesy of www.chinadriversexam.blogspot.com 

Peter Hessler’s article in the November 26 New Yorker about his driving experiences in China was closely studied by cultural research group at drivinglikeass.com. Hessler tells us that China has only 3% of the world’s vehicles and yet accounts for 21% of the world’s traffic fatalities. Knowing this raised hopes here at DLA that, in China, we had a driving populace possibly more reprobate than that of Boston, the similarities to which might provide the basis for new comparisons and insights.

In China, he tells us, such things as turn signals, windshield wipers, and headlights are considered to be distractions to the typical motorist. That sounded like Boston. And, in China, honking is a critical driving skill and, to some extent, mirrors the Chinese language itself with different tonal qualities and meanings. Well, that’s not so different than Boston, although in Boston, honking lacks the richness of Chinese language and most honking translates as some variation of “Moveyerass!” or “Upyers!” or “Moveyerass upyers!”

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